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My mom is the worst person to talk to whenever she had a thing to say something negative about. i thought these stuff would be over since i'm overseas but i guess NOT!
over the summer was the time that i've been so emotion in my entire life! i never cried that much in my whole life. my mom doesn't know how painful she had hurt me or even my dad but he's less on this subject because the only thing he ever told me that hurt me was that i'm STUPID. sure thing i've been called that so many times since high school from both of them but i've proved it to them by graduating from high school with honors.
anyways....my mom told me on the phone saying that "force=abused" hmmmm.....that got me thinking because all she been doing all my life was forcing me. seriously...she had forced me to come to this fucking ugly country with no choice at all. so....practically i've been abused to go to the philippines. i've suggested Australia but she said no! i would have LOTS of friends over there.....anyways....

whenever i talk to her all i could think of was why didn't ran away....like never come back home or why didn't die at birth or from an accident....or why didn't someone took the wrong baby (since i was born and was put in the nursery with the other babies)

life would be much better for her.

i wish i was back in ole good union college. i would be happier there and actually hang out with friends during the weekends.


i sure miss my friends...

here i don't have a friends that i could call them as friends for life. (which i'm not planning to make some)

i rather be anti-social and not to be known in campus.

i'm not stuck up...i do talk to people and to the indonesian ( somehow most of them seems stuck up too) iono ...i guess it's just me.

hopefully some times like one day...i can go to AIIAS and see my friend samantha.

good thing i finally officially know that she's here...it's goood to hear that a friend of mine from america is here. so ...i won't be alone.


but still...i wish i was back in nebraska.
things would be so different if i stayed.
i miss them...sooooo much!
THEY'RE LIKE MY FAMILY! which they are!

My mom is the worst person to talk to whenever she had a thing to say something negative about. i thought these stuff would be over since i'm overseas but i guess NOT!
over the summer was the time that i've been so emotion in my entire life! i never cried that much in my whole life. my mom doesn't know how painful she had hurt me or even my dad but he's less on this subject because the only thing he ever told me that hurt me was that i'm STUPID. sure thing i've been called that so many times since high school from both of them but i've proved it to them by graduating from high school with honors.
anyways....my mom told me on the phone saying that "force=abused" hmmmm.....that got me thinking because all she been doing all my life was forcing me. seriously...she had forced me to come to this fucking ugly country with no choice at all. so....practically i've been abused to go to the philippines. i've suggested Australia but she said no! i would have LOTS of friends over there.....anyways....

whenever i talk to her all i could think of was why didn't ran away....like never come back home or why didn't die at birth or from an accident....or why didn't someone took the wrong baby (since i was born and was put in the nursery with the other babies)

life would be much better for her.

i wish i was back in ole good union college. i would be happier there and actually hang out with friends during the weekends.


i sure miss my friends...

here i don't have a friends that i could call them as friends for life. (which i'm not planning to make some)

i rather be anti-social and not to be known in campus.

i'm not stuck up...i do talk to people and to the indonesian ( somehow most of them seems stuck up too) iono ...i guess it's just me.

hopefully some times like one day...i can go to AIIAS and see my friend samantha.

good thing i finally officially know that she's here...it's goood to hear that a friend of mine from america is here. so ...i won't be alone.


but still...i wish i was back in nebraska.
things would be so different if i stayed.
i miss them...sooooo much!
THEY'RE LIKE MY FAMILY! which they are!

My name is Felicia Darlene but most of my friends & families call me Fel and for those who are super close to me will call me by the nickname they made up. I'm a typical southern california girl who love to learn new things and try new things. i love fashion and beauty. sometimes i think to myself that i might be in the wrong field. but then again...i love how the nursing field is like. yes...i'm currently a nursing student in the philippines. no not my motherland. i'm indonesian and i also look india. don't know why but maybe i might have a trace of indian blood. back to the career i chose in life. being a nurse seems exciting, exhausted and stressful. but one day after graduating and passing the boards i hope to become an adult nurse practitioner.